A Piece of my Mind

SEMI IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!

2005-04-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

hey everyone. just a semi important notice:

this blog is going to be deleted. i'm giving it a few days, but i'm changing it to:

http://spaces.msn.com/members/spaceoffreedom/

so if you're at all interested in reading my rambles, that's where they'll be from now on. they'll be pictures, a blog and just random other things. i can't use blogger and pictures... it just doesn't work for me.
anyway, so that's it! this one will be deleted sometime on the weekend.
love ya'll and thanks for reading.
ash xo

woohoo..

2005-04-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

how fun was nikki's party?? it was AWESOME!! i've hardly had any sleep and i've hardly been home all holidays, max 24 hours including the rest of today. yay, i'll be buggered for school!!

maddie is so sweet. she made me earrings for my birthday!! they're so nice, and she's only 6!! she makes them better than i can.

yay!! 16!! this gypsy prostitute is legal everyone!!

not that long

2005-04-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

wow, i come home this sunday. 2 weeks went by pretty quickly! although i can`t wait to see everyone again and share holiday stories, not to mention going to nikki`s party monday night. yes, the day after i get back!

it`s been a real experience. it`s such a different culture and although globalisation has hit it, it`s traditional heritage and culture and beliefs still remain and you really get a glimpse of it and can compare and contrast australia and japan. i love it.

well i better go now, we`re going out. by the way, we`re in kyoto at the moment.

love ash xo

woah...weird

2005-04-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

that that rather odd... i decided i'd blog here from japan, just to discover the beginning and signing in and all that were in japanese... freaky.

i had a great 16th birthday yesterday. i don't think many could say they were attacked by deer (don't worry, friendly deer. they wanted my bag) for their 16th and got stared at by some freaky old japanese man, as well as seeing the floating japanese temple.

well i better go, we're going to dinner now

mwah xo

oh gosh

2005-04-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

i leave so soon! in about a day and a half.. i can't wait though. i really do hate staying in the one place all the time. it's awesome that i'm so lucky to get holidays and do the thing i love so much - travelling. i would not like to be ANY ONE ELSE whatsoever at this stage (my age anyway) because i get all of these trips.
guess what?! we may even be going back over to Europe again for a couple of months at the end of next year when i finish my HSC. how awesome would that be?!

i still haven't packed. hehehe. i'm the worst in my family at packing. i always overpack. lol. last time we went to Europe for a month and a bit, but the end of the trip i had stuff in mums, nats and dads suitcases. one more full day...

i have work tomorrow night too. how buggered am i going to be, seeing as i'll be getting up at 2.30ish saturday morning. maybe i'll just do a movie marathon thing until then. how funny.

you know what annoys me a lot? people who think they're going through so much trouble and want everyone to know that they're mysteriously unhappy and for others to see that they're 'suffering' to get some attention. i mean, EVERYONE goes through stuff. EVERYONE. but some are separated from others. i know NOBODY at church would have had an abortion let alone lost their virginity before marriage, practiced other religions, gotten so drunk they've passed out, would have done drugs, or even tried suicide and the list can go on. now if they haven't been through all that, how can they seriously say that they've 'suffered' when they've just been living a normal life, with problems here and there which everyone gets. HEAR THAT PEOPLE - EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS! OMG, NEWSFLASH.
that's what really annoys me about some religious people. they haven't seen the rest of the story, living in a cosy bubble where their God can fix everything life throws their way. you can still live through your God, but people! loosen up a little! it's life. it doesn't last that long. stop trying to be so fucking good all the time. it just drives other people up the wall.
well, there's my rave for awhile.

i won't talk to you all for awhile... 2 and a bit weeks. i get back the 24th. then i have a party the next night! exciting!

tata ya'll

2005-04-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

this time next week i will not even be in the country. how odd that feels.

at the moment with the rugby league on, our business studies class is doing footy tipping. i have NO idea and i hardly get any of the winners right, it is so amusing. my dad loves to watch it and tease me about how the teams i picked always seem to lose. how mean he is.

last night at work was so funny!
first of all, my dad called up to order and vanessa answered the phone. i was at the card machine and swiped this guys card when vanessa fully has this fit and yells "no!! no!!" because the card machine is linked to the phone that she was on. stupid idea if you ask me, but anyway, the guy was like..ok... so i explained that we had to wait. while i was waiting, i looked over vanessa's shoulder who had written on the top of the order 'david b' and she was finishing writing my phone number. i go "oh! hi dad!!" and vanessa is like...."omg! it's your dad! i thought he said david beckham and i'm like who the hell thinks he's david beckham?" so i'm laughing as she hands the phone over so i take it, and then the guy that was waiting for the card (still) was like, "this is getting weirder by the minute...". it was really crazy.
then a while after that happened, one of the phones rang and i answered it, and there were these guys on the other end who sounded my age, like, 15/16/17. so i started taking their order, but i write really quickly and abbrieviate it all, as you do, and i'm going 'yep, yep, yep' to everything they say, so they started laughing cuz they're saying their order quick as. then at the end, between laughter, they asked if i could tell them how much it is. i put down the phone, and start bitching to vanessa about them, saying things like "they're idiots. they're laughing at me, i should just hang up on them now" etc etc. then "vanessa, can you tell them how much it is, i don't want to talk to the fucking idiots"
then vanessa picks up the phone to tell them the price, she tells them, then they go "you know, you should hang up the phone before you starting bitching about us" and ness is like... "ok, yeah i know. bye!" and hangs up on them. meanwhile, customers are laughing at our display while waiting to be served.

2005-03-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

i have something that begins with a 'p' and ends with an 'osis' but i can't think of the inbetween letters of the virus..

last night i had parent/teacher interviews. that was boring as. i went to all my teachers who had a friendly discussion with my mum and i after they had said "she's doing excellently" in everything. i wonder what drugs they're on.. apparently i'm even top of my class in economics - ha! take that all the guys in my class! - touch wood, that is :P
after the interviews i went to the doctors, where i was diagnosed with the 'p.......osis' thing.

i also had an english assessment due today. i'm glad i got the speaking half of it done today. 15% speaking, 15% writing. 30% of english already done!! freaky...

update

2005-03-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

*sigh* i hate not being well.

i love long weekends though! especially when you've got assignments that you haven't done, let alone started the next week! :p oops!

should probably get started on those.

xo

procrastination

2005-03-19T14:50:00.000-08:00

i'm procrastinating. yet again.
i'm supposed to be studying for business studies. not that it isn't stuff i already know - we did most of it last year in commerce. but i feel obligated to study. i have no idea why.
i've already watched 'finding neverland' (JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!) as mum brought it home on video, and done numerous loads of washing to occupy me. but there's also a series of unfortunate events, meet the fockers, national treasure and numerous other movies, including a french one, that are just sitting there, waiting for me to watch them, distracting me from my studies.
'finding neverland' is sad.. :( but i really liked it.

work was interesting last night.. very funny. mark is awesome, hey vanessa?? lol. the conspiracies within our work.. it's great. i love it.

well, i'm going to continue to procrastinate elsewhere.
xo tata

stupid 'hollywood'

2005-03-16T16:50:00.000-08:00

isn't hollywood stupid? they can take something really good, change its values for our modern society, and then completely ruin it!!
i am rather annoyed. wouldn't it be nicer to have the comparison and vision of previous eras in front of our eyes, rather than what it would be like if we lived in those times? not to that degree, but you get what i'm saying.

drivers ed. tomorrow. should be interesting..

at the moment liv is over. fun fun. and i'm not being sarcastic by the way.

um, i really don't have anything interesting to say. i just felt like bitching about 'hollywood', or the broader spectrum of film-making and appropriating.

xo

ps happy birthday to kelly for monday!!
and ness and kel's party was good too!

haunted

2005-03-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

omg, i can't believe what happened. mostly because i can't remember much of it. i keep getting glimses some of it, whenever i shut my eyes though. it's haunting.
people have told me what happened. i really can't believe it. it feels so strange, to have almost a whole night cut out of your memory.
school is going to be interesting... please let everyone have forgotten about it too... although i don't think that will happen.
why oh why did this have to happen?!!
i know everyone is just glad i'm ok. i've had tons of messages checking on me.. but still. i feel absolutely crap inside.
i haven't eaten since friday night, just before it all. i'm still not hungry. i've lost 3kg, just over a day... and i'm still not hungry. i don't think i'd feel like eating anyway, even if i was hungry.
i never want to relive this ever again. i feel like shutting myself in my room and never coming out. at the risk of sounding cliche "i want to curl up and die". my hands are shaking at the thought of it.
maybe i'll go and watch tv.. or do my homework. i still have my maths test tomorrow. i have to miss out on my french class because of it. i think it would have been better to not go to school tomorrow, and then not many people go tuesdays. that would have been better. but no, i have a maths test. damn it. xo

distracted.

2005-03-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

yes, i am. i was doing my society and culture assessment on indonesia. i researched it and came back with 10 pages, which i need to go through, but obviously i don't have the ability to concentrate so started reading other people's blogs, then decided to write my own, so here i am.

omg, guess what? this weekend i am going to be SCREWED!! as in tired.. lol. and those who know what else i'm on about SHH!!!
i have work until about 9ish friday night, i go home, get changed, go out to a party until midnightish. i come home. i hopefully sleep.
the next morning, i get up and our family goes to wagga. yes, wagga. for my cousins 21st party. i'm there the whole day.
next morning (sunday) is possibly the recovery party, then we drive back to sydney, where i get home, hopefully shower, then go out to a jopint bday party of 2 of my besties with my other friends at night at a restaurant.

woohoo!!! PARTIES ALL WEEKEND!!!

ah yeah.. what else? not much interesting really. i have a maths assessment test monday which is bad, as i have NO idea. oh well. i'm planning on dropping maths in year 12.

THIS TIME NEXT MONTH I'LL BE IN JAPAN!!! YAY!!!

the bad thing is, since i've been going to church, i have always been on holidays in april, and therefore miss soul survivor!! at least i'm away for my birthday though! celebrating my 16th birthday with a laptop and a trip to toyko disneyland.. :) it makes me feel really lucky. but now i feel stuck-up. anywho.

i'm going to go and do...stuff....

mwah* xo

drugs

2005-03-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

i'm on drugs...
no not really. i'm only on sleeping tablets (which really work! yay! i get sleep now!) and panadol/nurofen/herron whenever i need it.
just thought i'd get your attention.
as of tomorrow, we leave for japan in exactly a month!!! woohoo!!!

mentality.

2005-03-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

i think there is something wrong with me. emotion/hormone-wise. or maybe i'm just suffering from serious lack of sleep, which is really getting ridiculous. maybe it's both. all i know is that something is seriously wrong. on monday, i watched raise your voice, just for the sake of it, and i literally broke down and cried about 10 times, mostly for no apparent reason. just stupid things set me off in it. then tuesday, all i wanted to do was to curl up and die (sorry for the cliche - it couldn't be helped).
also, i'm not feeling at all well. my throat is sore, my head hurts and i'm just more 'out of it'.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA by the way. and YUMMY CAKE STEPH!! you're such a good cook - so jealous!!

um.. what else? apart from being sick both emotionally, physically and mentally (it's amazing the stupid things that are currently going around in my head - most, not good), there's nothing much else going on.. this is just a blog to put my thoughts on... paper... and to get it all out, and not state my entire life story.

so, until later, tata xo

insomnia

2005-02-27T18:20:00.000-08:00

i have really bad insomnia. this last week, it's amazing how little sleep i have had. as in, probably less than double digits. i think it's almost chronic insomnia. apparently chronic insomnia is when you have insomnia 3 or more times a week or something. let me tell you, it's more than 3 times a week at the moment.
for example, last night i was up until past 12am (midnight) moving furniture, and going through videos and dvds. we must've thrown out hundreds... then tossed and turned for hours, eventually got up and did homework (yes, 3, 4ish in the morning) and started re-typing my economics essay (using my laptop so i didn't wake anyone up). i got about 2 hours sleep after that.

today my best friends were all over. we had a big lunch (bbq, salads, etc etc) and had a go of jeux de boules. i love that game. it rocks. i think i liked it as soon as i saw french people doing it in jardin du luxembourg in paris. that was awe-si-um.
we also started watching team america. my mum has alfie (still in cinemas, yes, i know), spongebob movie, team america... oh, and others to keep.we also gave heaps of stuff away to my friends. we literally throw out and give away movies... it's fun.

anyway, i'm not going to church tonight. i have heaps of stuff to catch up on. that's all good though. i don't really feel like going, for reasons i'm not just going to say on this blog, and only my best friends will know.

i'm in a shit mood too, so if any of you so thinks i'm bragging, or sounding braggy, fuck off, i am not. there are many of the people i know who's blogs tend to reflect how great their lives work out to be, even though it's going shit. not mentioning any names now though... NEWS FLASH people - life IS fucking shit.

xo

2005-02-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

i just re-read one of my old blogs. it was entitled "all i can do is try".
in reference to that, i believe things have changed a deal since that time.
for instance, i felt connected in some kind of way to the people at church. i don't feel that that much anymore and i've felt distanced from them. i was also going to small groups at that time! that was ages ago. that means i didn't have my job just yet back then. i haven't been to small groups for so long. lucky i'm starting again, in the wednesday group.
i feel closer than ever to my bestest best friends from school as well, and i love them all so much, they're like family to me.
i've also felt more together this year. my 'emotional state' is still all over the place at times and i tend to have smaller breakdowns, but not nearly as bad as it was last year.
thank goodness it's a new year, and to me, that's symbolic of a new beginning. not that my new year was a good start, turning up with a small hangover at work, but it's still symbolic!!
speaking of alcohol and being drunk etc, i couldn't go to the party tonight!!! (miles', for the people who know - ie my best friends). i'm so annoyed. so so SO annoyed. i have to work.

well, tig has just come into annoy me, and i may as well get my stuff ready for work.
toodle-oo, ash xo

countdown

2005-02-24T17:20:00.000-08:00

45 days!!! yes!! only 45 more days to go!!!

let down

2005-02-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

have you ever just felt really really let down with everything?
as in, stuff is going ok, then it just takes a turning.
like what the weather does sometimes - it's really nice and hot, then it becomes so overcast and rainy. not that i hate rainy weather but you get the idea.
or like when you're playing solitaire and you're going really well, but then one thing or one card screws you up and you lose.
that's how i feel at the moment. i was going fine, i didn't even mind about an economics test next thursday, or a 1200 word economics essay i just got, or even the essay due on tuesday i have to hand in. or maths which is really simple now. it's like advanced year 10. not even THOSE things bothered me. but it just takes one thing and things are screwed, and that one thing has hit me.

2005-02-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

my mum has gone to a cooking class for busy people today. she's learning how to cook 'quick, healthy meals', because our family is so on the go and we hardly ever have time to have something 'wholesome'.

anyway, i worked out how to burn stuff on my laptop, and also put photos from my digital onto it as well. i feel so clever.

well, guess what? i quit thursdays at the restaurant, and now i just work fridays. AND i'm going to golf this arvo cuz i'm not working or babysitting and it's not bad weather! FINALLY!! i love golf. i get very frustrated, yes, i admit, but still, cromer is such a nice course. they're making it harder as well, with course redevelopments, and you have to get out of metre-high bunkers and hit over water. everyone give me golf balls for my birthday, cuz i'm going to lose A LOT of balls! lol

ash xo

2005-02-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

http://chainreaction.cjb.net/
now go into that, then click on gallery. all of those are drawn by one of my best friends. ha. take that world.

now i was at out at dinner in manly with my family awhile ago and i mentioned the fact that i want to go on a round the world trip. dad said he spent thousands of thousands of dollars taking us places, only for us to spend thousands and thousands ourselves. i thought about that, and it makes sense in an odd way :P

in conclusion i'd rather spend all that money to go to italy and france again. just to see lake como at sunset again, and to see the eiffel tower sparkle all of it's lights late in the night...*sigh*

yucky

2005-02-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

valentine's day is yucky. it's just another stupid day where people can try and redeem themselves for not giving their partner any attention or any presents or anything else that "shows them they love them". i mean, presents don't have to show someone you love them. that's just stupid thinking. it's nice to get them once in awhile, but hello!! that doesn't measure the relationship. AND if you finally give each other and your relationship attention on one day of the year, then don't you find that a little contradictory to the value of a relationship? i find it utterly stupid and i could go on, but then again, maybe i won't - i'll spare you all.
and anyway, i DO NOT want to get up in front of the whole school and accept my rose/s thankyou very much!

just a few points of interest

2005-02-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

i really love green tea - just thought i'd start off by sharing that with you.

we had a study day today. that was a lot of fun. i got some good tips out of it, a lot of laughs and some much needed de-stress activities. too bad i have work tonight, so all that de-stressing is going to be needed again.
work is ok. but only ok. working in a mostly non-english speaking establishment is hard, and i know sheri can back me up on this one.

i can't wait until the weekend. i may be going to a party, and i may be getting back to golf. depends if it raining, and what time the party is. so yes, should be good.

i was walking home the other day, i think it was tuesday, and as i did, i got thinking: how lucky we are to be in these conditions, in such a good freedom-loving country, and be safe as well, and even the environment. it was a sunny day, it was nice and warm, we've got parks and trees and people walking freely down the street. even our economy is going well - the best it's been in actual fact. i just thought i'd throw that in, as i'm actually really really enjoying economics - touch wood.

well, i need to go finish printing something out, and get ready for work - groan. lol - no just kidding... slightly.

xo

2005-02-05T15:30:00.000-08:00

i've just realised i'm not that sure how to plug in my laptop to a power source. not that i've looked, but i can't be bothered and i probably won't be able to do it anyway. i've been using it on battery, but now that that's run out, well, i have to charge it don't i?

wednesday was fun. i got totally drenched when i ran out and stayed in the rain for awhile.i love rain. in the holidays nat and i found some really really old home videos when i was like, 2 and 3 and stuff, and some of the footage was me running around in the rain and jumping in puddles.

first week of school was pretty good. our legal studies class has 7 people!!
nat, louise, james, me, 2 icet students and bec. go us!
mock trial should be interesting too.

i have babysitting tonight as well which should be cool. the kids are awesome.

i'm going to have a cup of tea now. tata xo

2005-02-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

i just decided to write a bit of an update on moi...

i know it's just the first couple of days back, but i'm liking school at the moment. i like my subjects, i like the fact i'm walking home, i like extension english and i really like all my teachers.

in ext. english today we got our book that we're reading. "the modern prometheus", or for those who are uneducated, frankenstein by mary shelley. ext english today was very intriguing and i got lots of new ideas out of it.

lol, i went back to fencing yesterday and i figured out i'm rather rusty. i wasn't allowed to do it for ages when i split my ear open, went once and then it was holidays.. i was VERY rusty. lol.
BUT i did learn that drinking water to sports drinks has a ratio of 3:1. as in 3 bottles of water to every 1 bottle of sports drink, as sports drinks have lots of added stuff and isn't as beneficial as water.

i'm going to go and start reading my book. tata xo

2005-01-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

i have a really big problem with people at the moment. i don't like being near them or talking to them lately. people can let you down.

another thing is, i was followed the other day. literally followed when i was walking to babysitting. i guy drove past me, beeped, turned around, called out from me across the other side of the road, and turned around again, followed me, then caught up with me and asked me if i wanted a lift.
it really is completely shattering.

i'm in the middle of a big fight with mum (we had a fight last night, she ignored me for a bit over 24hrs then yelled at me, now she's ignoring me again), my sister's annoyed at me, my dad isn't even home yet and it's nearly 10pm, and my grandma is really really sick in hospital. i don't want to be near anyone, but i really want someone to talk to, to cry on and i don't know who i want. i want someone new.

i don't feel like i've got a future either. i really don't know what i want to do in life. i don't think there really is a lot i want to do. i can't see what i should be working for, or looking forward to.

anyway, i'm going to go now. hopefully dad will be home soon too.
xo

2005-01-24T16:10:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i'm blogging again. i think i'm over it a lot, but not enough to keep me from writing. i guess i like writing too much.
i saw my grandma on sunday. she wasn't that well at all. she couldn't even suck on ice cuz it made her throw up, and she kept pushing the button for more morphine. her room is quite nice, although it is a private hospital.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAD, the 22nd, and KIRSTY, the 23rd.
i can't wait til my whole group meets up on friday. should be fun, and we'll all be in the one place at the same time.
fencing and school start next monday. i'm going to annoy you all and say i actually don't mind going back again. it gives me something else to think about other than whatever else is going on in life.

i haven't been to church for awhile.. i still don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. i know i've needed a break from everyone... i really don't fit in with them.

xo

whats up?

2005-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

not much actually. although i've been doing stuff, i haven't if that makes any sense... as in, i don't feel like i've done a lot.
nothing much new.
we got a new water tank/heater thing.
i got my laptop (which is my 16th bday present - in april) and it's actually a really really good one, surprisingly/luckily.
i've cleaned my room and i've decided i'm going to have to go through my wardrobe... it's a mess.
i've met up with a few people and i'm planning to keep doing so.
my grandma is going into hospital on saturday.
my mum and dad are stressed because they're now both working full time - i don't see much of them at all.
i'm climbing the harbour bridge in a week (uh oh, i'm SO unfit) and going to a party afterwards (oh dear).
i now waitress at the restaurant on thursday nights.
i'm babysitting, and then more work after it.
AND
i'm continuing to save up for another holiday to lots of places around the world.

my life is everywhere at the moment. i can't seem to keep it all together. if there was a dance that showed my life at the moment, it'd go one step forward, two back. i get one part together and another falls apart.

anyway, adios for now
xo

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH CASSY AND VICKY, WHO ARE NOW 16!!! ARGH! YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME!!

i feel sick...

2005-01-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

it's not nice.
it may be from lack of sleep, lack of eating properly, i don't know, but i feel awful. i want to go to sleep, but i have too much energy, and i can't wear myself out cuz i don't feel up to anything... i'm annoyed.

stuff

2005-01-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

yay!! my nails are actually growing, and are pretty strong for once!
i am not really a nail-biter. sure, i sometimes may bite them when i'm stressed or something, but generally i don't. but my nails are SO weak and whenever they start growing longer, they break off.
so, mira, who's really cool and works with my mum, told us this stuff thats really good. she used it for her wedding, and got it introduced to her by a paramount girl in perth, so now i've got to introduce it to someone...lol. nah, it's really good, but it's expensive.

i've had a couple of days at home by myself. nat is over at alice's place, sleeping over. apparently she's bought me a hat as well...interesting.
but it's been nice at home. i think i may read something later.

last night was weird. tigger just kept following me all over the house, even after i had fed him. tigger is my cat, for those of you who don't know me well enough. see, tigger isn't really the one to follow ME around...bite me sometimes, yeah, but not follow. that was more of a jerry thing.

anyway, i'm going to go. i'm too boring to keep writing. xo

cromer

2005-01-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

i do like cromer... i love the golf course. i played a few holes today, it was really great weather for it. i miss golf. i wish i had more time for it. i can only really go in holidays or saturday afternoons. otherwise there's comps all the time, or i'm busy with something else *sigh*. it'd be nice to move near there... they have some really cool houses there, right near the course.

anyway, i'm dreaming.

i don't feel like i belong here anyway. as much as i love everything and everyone here, i'm dying inside to travel again. i love the different cultures, food, religions, influences, clothes, and people. i love meeting new people. everyone is different and i find it a real priviledge to know people individually. it's pretty cool when you think about it. as in, you'll never meet someone who's exactly like them.
i don't like to be in one place for too long. i hate it, in fact. i can't wait until april and september to get away again.

xo

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2005-01-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YA'LL!!!

well, how fast did 2004 just go by?? at the beginning of the year i remember thinking, well. this is going to be like a symphony of a year - who knows when it's going to end, but now that i look back at it, it's been just like one of the songs we listen to so much on the radio - short, sweet, but totally just the right amount of time and music.
wow, how many things did i do in 2004?? i'm too lazy to actually re-cap it all at the moment cuz i'm still recovering from last night (you're lucky i can actually type). i went shopping all day, came home, went to work came home again and watched the 9pm fireworks, then went out at around... 9.45pm??
i so could not sleep. i was on and off all night.

well i hope that 2005 is even better than 2004, even more successful and even more fun.

challenge for you all - make every second count, be even better than 2004. kick 2004's butt in 2005. if you don't, you're just a wimp and you're chickening out. chicken....

must fly, ash xo

2004-12-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

ah, back home again. i was visiting our relatives in the country for a few days, for those of you who don't know. it was fun. my cousins and i had fun electricuting ourselves, and i had a lot of late nights, although it was still relaxing. i think i could hack it as a country girl... i certainly could manage on the farm a while ago, it's just that we don't visit it much more. sad.
my cousins got a new horse. it was trained as a racehorse. so now they have 3 horses.

i think i finally convinced dad to move... we're fixing up the house!! we bought about $200 worth of plants to put in the gardens today which was a nice step :P

must fly, ash xo

2004-12-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

life never ceases to amaze me.
i thought i knew a lot about my parents, but going through my dad's awards and records and all that, i found out that he and some other guy he was working with at the time in mosman council (he was general manager of a few councils) actually developed a system that the RTA used... and he's also a member of the engineers society of australia or something...

sorry, i'm totally weirded out by this new info, as i had no idea about it.

i went to my sisters year 6 graduation today. uh oh, she's coming to davo next year... at least i only have 7 terms left. it sounds scary when i say it like that.lol.

anyway, must fly.
ash xo

everything

2004-12-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

i can't believe that this year is nearly over. it's so weird, it's gone by so quickly.
i never thought i could make it through every horrible thing that i had to go through this year... but i guess i'm still alive.
year 10 graduation was yesterday. so relieving. my school certificate marks were actually really great, all band 5s!! i don't know how i pulled that off!
work last night was busy... miles and marvin came in and i was folding napkins so was talking to them and stuff... they're great. i also got to do some more waitressing and customer service a lot... it's the best.
2 parties yesterday as well. one before work, one after. atsuko's farewell... SHE'S GONE!!! :( i'm going to miss her so much. after that finished, we walked back to my place for a sleepover at 12.30ish, and i'm still awake. i have to go to a ballet performance at 3pm as well.
what else has happened recently?
yesterday i got a siamese fighting fish. i named it gordon thomas :P in honour of thomas the tank engine (the show for those of you who are gay and don't know it). my sister got a crappy second hand laptop, and i'm getting my new, GOOD model in approximately a month. WOOHOO!! then we'll have 4 computers... for 4 people. it all works.
mum's work has moved to chatswood (paramount pictures) and she's officially gotten a sort of promotion, which was approved by LA. exciting huh?

but hmm... has anyone found that you cannot go out without someone recognising you?? i have. it happens everytime i go out. i always run into someone and someone else sees me.. weird. as someone once said (a lot of times, and a lot of people actually) - i know too many people.

anyway, tata xo

formal

2004-11-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

i may as well blog about the formal.... cuz it ROCKED!! it was so much fun!! without going into many details cuz there's too many, it really rocked.
i didn't get much sleep, then today went shopping for awhile and got heaps of stuff. it was really fun. i even talked nikki and sheri into getting a photo with the santa at the shops... FUN!! lol, or as nikki and i would say: aw-si-ummm!!!
as i said, not many details. but jeez, i've been on the go for ages. i only got back around 10mins ago. woohoo. then i've got work tonight and all this stuff happening on da weekend.

anywho, better go xo

hairdressers

2004-11-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

being in a haridresser's place is so fascinating. it really is. there are so many cool and different people that come in and out while you're sitting there and getting your hair done.
for example i was in my hairdresser's today, and i swear, i saw about 10 or so people. one guy bought around $50 worth of wax for his hair, as he needed it for 2 months he was spending in italy as he was managed livestock imports/exports.
one little old lady had the cutest fluffiest hair when it was blowdried.
then there was one other indian dude who got heaps cut off his hair and was going to malaysia and thailand for a holiday, leaving next thursday or something i think.
then there's all the gossip, but it's funny cuz i couldn't understand half of it as most of it was in chinese. haha.
i've had a rather interesting day, and it's not even time for the formal yet, which is tonight.

xo

2004-11-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

no more stitches!! yay!!
year 12 graduation tonight was.... good? non-eventful? fun? i don't know the exact word to describe it..
lol, we're "know-it-all year 10s!!"
the dresses were really nice too

2004-11-10T20:11:00.000-08:00

YES!!! SCHOOL CERTIFICATE IS OVER!!!!!! WOOHOO!! NO MORE TESTS!!!

yes, i am rather happy :D

oops...

2004-11-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

oops... yeah, i managed to split my ear open, right through the cartilidge. i got something like 10 stitches.. aren't i clever??
the thing is it doesn't really hurt, it's just massively annoying.

anyway, school cert today wasn't all bad. i don't think i failed at least, but there were a few questions that left me thinking for awhile :P

anyway, better go. thought i'd update a bit.

tata all, xo

2004-11-03T19:30:00.000-08:00

friends... sometimes you think they are, but then again if they don't support you, which friends are supposed to do, then what are they really?

and also, if something "doesn't mean anything" to a person, then why should you even try? what's the fucking point??!!

pfft. not that anyone would care. it probably "wouldn't mean anything to you"!!! :'(

sunburn....

2004-11-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

ouch!!!

Halloween

2004-10-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

hey all.
this post is mostly setting stuff straight about halloween. after all the heated discussions i've managed to get myself in, i'm actually allowed to put the thoughts AND FACTS here. please read on... it's rather worthwhile and i'd appreciate it.
from: http://wilstar.net/holidays/hallown.htm

The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.

One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.

Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.

Some accounts tell of how the Celts would burn someone at the stake who was thought to have already been possessed, as sort of a lesson to the spirits. Other accounts of Celtic history debunk these stories as myth.

The Romans adopted the Celtic practices as their own. But in the first century AD, Samhain was assimilated into celebrations of some of the other Roman traditions that took place in October, such as their day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple, which might explain the origin of our modern tradition of bobbing for apples on Halloween.

The thrust of the practices also changed over time to become more ritualized. As belief in spirit possession waned, the practice of dressing up like hobgoblins, ghosts, and witches took on a more ceremonial role.
The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates.

The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.

The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.

According to the folk tale, after Jack died, he was denied entrance to Heaven because of his evil ways, but he was also denied access to Hell because he had tricked the devil. Instead, the devil gave him a single ember to light his way through the frigid darkness. The ember was placed inside a hollowed-out turnip to keep it glowing longer.

The Irish used turnips as their "Jack's lanterns" originally. But when the immigrants came to America, they found that pumpkins were far more plentiful than turnips. So the Jack-O-Lantern in America was a hollowed-out pumpkin, lit with an ember.

So, although some cults may have adopted Halloween as their favorite "holiday," the day itself did not grow out of evil practices. It grew out of the rituals of Celts celebrating a new year, and out of Medieval prayer rituals of Europeans. And today, even many churches have Halloween parties or pumpkin carving events for the kids. After all, the day itself is only as evil as one cares to make it.

THANK GOODNESS i could say all that and no one contradict or argue me before i could finish! argh. it is NOT an evil holiday. and if you still have that already pre-anti-halloween-because-its-all-evil thought on what it is without knowing what halloween is really about, then you're rather odd and unreasonable. who can tell this is annoying me? i love halloween and i think it's stupid how everyone thinks it's rather evil.

on another distant note, I START WORK TODAY!!! at 5.30... yay!
anyway, love ya'll, ash xo

teeth and HSC

2004-10-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

i did HSC scribing today. it was rather fun actually. tammi is really nice. we finished early and she gave me a lift home which was cool as well.

my teeth are horrid. i like them cuz they're straight and all that, but they're yallow (it's how i pronounce 'yellow' unintentionally) so i bought this whitening toothbrush and toothpaste. lets see if they can salvage my horrid yallow teeth!

i love the rain. i really do. i love walking in it and jumping in puddles which i got to do both yesterday. yesterday was fun. i loved it.

hmm. mathematical studies class test tomorrow. the rest of the class and myself are most definately going to fail. i'm going to go study a bit... well. read and listen to music actually. maybe study later....

life...

2004-10-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

life is rather odd at times....actually most of the time.

just quickly

2004-10-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

just quickly before i have to go do some stuff...
how are we all and what have we been up to? feel free to comment! nah, not forcing you to.
anyway, school was ok today. first day back. i think i'm going to find it very hard to concentrate after school certificate on geog, hist, science, music and drama, as i'm not continuing them... oh well.
anywho, do you all think it's contradictory to be called a slut, a nerd and a ditz all in one day? it's possible...believe me. i think it's pretty contro...but anyway.

better go. tata all xo

"anything is possible with chocolate chip cookies"

2004-10-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

i've had an interesting last couple of days...
i've been at my grandmas and great grandmas house (drummoyne) for the last couple of days. monday was very interesting... i decided i wanted to clean the whole back bedroom of their house. trust me, if you've seen it, you'd agree i was absolutely mental. the truth is, i am and i did it. we pulled EVERYTHING out of it, and filled the 3 times as big lounge room and also outside with everything.
long story short, i got it done in half a day and threw HEAPS of crap out. and i mean crap. stuff like broken stuff and bit of random material. we're also donating heaps of clothes and toys which is really cool.
i really love being at their place though. in that time i was was cleaning, i was required to go through all the stuff. a majority of everything is all our childhood stuff. when i say that, i mean mine, my sisters, my mums and also my grandmas. you can literally relive every (and i mean every) second of your whole life there, they have that much stuff you've had over time. it's pretty cool. there's so many photos as well. monday night, nat and i had their old slide projector out with their great big box of slides and seeing how everything has changed. they went on holidays quite a bit, and there's heaps of slides of them away and of the whole family.
i know i'm going on a bit about this whole thing, but i'm seriously in love with knowing about our family. it's so cool, cuz they have this whole family tree as well. it goes back ages, like, to the 1600s with information on all of our ancestors. i didn't even know some of the people were related to us and it's so cool how the names have changed :) 2 of our ancestors are: nicholas rowe (one of the first to ever critically study shakespeares works. i wish he passed down those intellectual genes to me...lol) and captain walter young. although, i can't exactly remember what he did...

anyway, i believe it is the most appropriate time to say "anything is possible with chocolate chip cookies" and "that's IT!!! i'm going to fiji!"
yes. those may have to get explained some other time. especially the fiji one, as that occured whilst in a japanese restaurant. lol.

i can't be bothered writing anymore at the moment, and i still have to work out what clothes i'm wearing for tomorrow. i'm going to a funeral....

so tata all xo

2004-10-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

hello everyone! how are we all?
i'm ok. been very busy and out a lot of the time though - it's great! i pretty much have somewhere to be and someone to be with all the time.
today i went to gosford or wherever to visit a couple of people which was fun. quote: "it's a wind socket!! i swear it is!!" lol.
thursday night i was out and went shopping and stuff and got heaps of things with kirsty and sheri, friday shez dropped round again and nat, her and myself had some, er, *cough* fun experiences with candles and incense. i nearly died from it all cuz i was actually pretty sick...but it was fun. yeah, but i think i had a fever or something. i went from hot to cold, i had sneezing fits, i had a really bad headache and i felt like i was going to throw up and felt really dizzy and started shaking. BUT i'm pretty much ok now.

ah dear... we were talking about driving today. each time it came up, the incident with me driving the golf buggy in queensland came up (basically, i floored it and nearly hit a tree... actually. i did hit the tree, but it scraped the wheel...lucky...) and also the incident with my hyperventilation in italy...damn that was scary.

well. i lot else has been happening as well. a lot of my mums side of the family is sick, and there's been a couple of passing aways this year. the most recent was thursday night. it was my greatgrandmas brother. her other one passed away earlier in the year, and then there's other relatives that are pretty sick... also, my grandma has broken her leg...again. apparently it's been broken for awhile though :S.... i don't know how that works but anyway.

but no matter how much stuff is happening, i know that my TRUE friends are always there for me. there's so many people that i know are there no matter what. no matter the time, the place, the situation or even the country they always want to know what's happening. i know i'm blessed with a lot of friends and heaps of loving and caring people who love me for me, not for what i do or say. they're the best people in the world to me, and really, who could be bothered with people if they notice what you do? i mean, if you drink, smoke or do drugs should it matter? it doesn't change who you are.
basically those people are a lot of people in my life. i've found i know a LOT of people as well who are always there. argh, "it's a small world" song in my head now...
i better finish here for now... my dads trying to kick me off to look for japanese restaurants.
in conclusion - i don't need people who try and change me and what i do. it matters about the person and inside them. not what they see on the outside. so you know who you guys are. remember what i've said, and go from there, cuz it's not like you're the only people in my life. too many other people outweigh you and are always going to be there NO MATTER what, and if you're not willing to do that, then don't be bothered at all.
harshness, i know everyone, but it's the truth.
love you all, ash xo

all i can do is try

2004-09-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

i can't wait for a lot of things to happen. mostly, to finish year 10 for this year i guess.
but i also can't wait for my life to start putting itself together. it's not that i'm not partly happy with stuff at the moment. i mean, i love all of my friends, i'm pretty happy with who i am, and i love all of the things i do. that is, fencing, tennis, flute, singing, dance, small groups, golf and church. but i don't know. at the moment it really feels like there is this huge hole in me that's constantly getting tugged at, and it feels like it's ripping me apart. sometimes it gets so unbearable and i really don't know what to do anymore. i've felt it for so long and i don't know how much longer i can get torn up.

i really miss my friends. both my church friends and school friends. i don't get to see my church friends as often and and that really sucks. they're all heaps cool and i love them all heaps. i wish it was easier to talk to them and see them all.
my school friends i see and talk to a lot more, but i still really miss them. i can't wait until we can all be back together, after ness, fi, nikki and kelly get home. i wish i could be overseas with them. a depressing thought - one year ago i would have been in... europe. maybe italy. i can't remember. i wish i was over there now. as much as i love and appreciate australia, sometimes i really hate being here. i like travelling and getting out and seeing the world. i love learning about the world *sigh*

i think i may go and dance a bit, or sing or something. i don't know. sometimes it makes me feel better, sometimes it doesn't. *breathe in, breathe out* *sigh* all i can do is try....isn't it?

2004-09-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

hm. what have i been up to? quite a bit actually.
saturday was a lot of fun!! dance rehearsals were fun, but i had to go straight home after them and stay home before it because of nats bday and stuff. EBN was heaps of fun! dancing in it was heaps cool and the rest of the night was really enjoyable.
sunday i slept in for ages. church was really good though, and lately i think God has really given me a lot of opportunities to see how lucky we are here in australia and how many good things we do have and take for granted. the story of whats happening in indonesia was really horrid, and seeing the little girl talk was so sad. also, reading Mao's Last Dancer (the book i'm reading now) shows you how easy we do have it now.
after church we all went to maccas. i didn't have anything (i hate it), but it was really fun catching up with everyone afterwards. rachel, tanya and i went running through the carpark cuz we felt like it which was really fun :p i mean, but as you do!!
i'm keeping things really brief aren't i? oh well.
yesterday sheri dropped around and we walked to vickys place to hang out and pick up a couple of things. we watched the video of her as audrey in little shop and then we all walked up to glenrose for awhile. we split after that, and i went home to be home at 3pm to see my sister get home from a holiday program, although i was out for 5 hours so its ok :p
may you all please note as well, that this whole time i WAS NOT drunk, as some people seem to think. i was not even tipsy!!!
the rest of the arvo i did some skateboarding (playstation with my sister. lol) and now i really want a skateboard for christmas. that and a punching bag (which my parents laughed at) and a mobile phone. actually, i've been looking at phones today. i kind of know what i want, but it's the matter of finding the right one.
anyway i'll be going now, see ya'll later. xo

2004-09-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAT!!
she's my little sis for those of you who don't know, and her 12th bday is today.
it's holidays!! yay! i didn't even go yesterday - the last day of school. lol. i slept in until 9am!! wow, go me! then i basically just did some dance and stuff, then at 1pm started walking to glenrose to meet with anika before ebn set-up. i managed to read some of my book as well which was good.
at 4.30 we got back to the church to help set-ups, and then jodie and i had an air hockey game before anyone else could have a go! mwahahaha.
we were doing setup until aboout 7ish, and then after a quick stop a glenrose, bec and i went to glen street and met up with kirsty and her family to see VICKY in 'little shop of horrors'. it was SO good!! WE LOVE YOU VICKY!!!
after the show i also went to see her afterwards, and was introduced to Dave Hazzard, Scott Dias and a couple of the other cast members. they're all so cool. GOOD JOB TO EVERYONE!! *snaps!*
hm. today i'm having lunch with my mum, grandma, greatgrandma and sis for her bday (dad is away again), then at 3 i've got a dance rehearsal for tonight, then after that i'm going to vicky's house to pick some stuff up and say hello, then i'm coming home and slowly getting ready for ebn.
i think alice is coming over somewhere in there as well..hmm. i have no idea. too many random people come over all the time, so you kind of lose track. BUT! you're always welcome to :)
i better go now, as i have i few things to do (holidays and i'm busy. jeez! oh well. distraction is good) so i'll see ya'll later. xo

in commerce...

2004-09-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

well i'm in commerce now. we're finishing off our assignments but i finished it last night and at 7.30 this morning, so now i'm onto this financial institution crap. oh well. it's my last day for term 3 cuz i'm not going tomorrow. that could be dangerous for me... hmm. not good. well at least tomorrows friday. setting up at ebn is always fun and i'm probably going to glen street afterwards to see vicky in "little shop of horrors" then saturday is our dance perf. at ebn. yay!

hmm. my life is everywhere at the moment. there's so much stuff going on, so many things i need and want to do, my dad's going away again tomorrow, my sisters bday is saturday as well, i'm having a few more family issues (all over again), and just..... well a lot more as well. i'm not going to write them all here, but everything is so dysfunctional and disjointed.

*sigh* this is really boring. but then again i have nothing to do.

mummy's work

2004-09-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

i'm at mummy's work. it's fun. i love her work. i also love the people. but JJ isn't here. he's in florence, italy getting drunk and eating lots of italian pasta, pizza and gelato. we know cuz he sent us a message :P
i'm on mira's computer. a while ago we went to her serbian wedding. it rocked heaps!
i've seen the evil chair... it's definately evil, and seen lots of paramount pictures staff photos around the place as well as the "walk of fame" hallways (these are hallways with signed, massive posters from movies).
i really do love her work. i haven't been for ages but i love it. it's a friendly, organised mess with lots of movie merchandise everywhere in boxes, such as clothes, posters and the famous tribbles. gotta love those tribbles....
i also have to go to singing down the road soon. it's in allambie as well.
oh well. better go. tata xo

just things

2004-09-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well I’m in commerce now..not doing all that much. Our class is really random. I’m with rin and ryan and they’re looking at ring tones and I’m obviously blogging..
I felt so bad last night… I was just crying so much and I don’t really know if I can really do anything about it…well, good for now anyway if that makes sense.
I think I fully understand the term “choking back tears”. I felt like that. They were silent tears, and I felt like throwing up at the same time, it was hard to breathe and talk and it really feels like you’re at you’re breaking point.
Luckily I was out and I was going to fencing… I love fencing. I love the people, what we learn and everything. It always makes me feel a little better.
I also had my last flute lesson yesterday. I’m not going back next term. I’ve been doing flute lessons on Monday arvos since year 3. im in year 10 now. I’m sick of them. I’m not doing music next year anyway, I can still play whenever I want cuz it’s my flute. It has been for ages, and I still do singing. It’s not like I’m blocking out music completely.
Well I better go, so I have time to log out and stuff.
Bye everyone. xo

is there really a point?

2004-09-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

lately i've been thinking a lot, maybe too much for my own good, but the question that keeps coming to mind is "what is the point in life?"
i guess it's God's way of giving us freedom and a chance for our own choices and stuff like that.
it gets so hard, and i've tried a lot of stupid things, and i've also changed a lot. sometimes i just can't be bothered going out anymore, i've lost the will to go on at times and acted on that (thank God that the car stopped) and things like that. i don't think you really want to know what else. they're not really good things.... you may have noticed my arms and recent eating habits.
i haven't really meant to, i don't think anyone means to, but apparently i've changed for the worse. i don't think that would really matter to your true friends though.
i'm really struggling at the moment though, and i think i'd know where i'd be if i didn't have my friends and God. so a huge THANKYOU and *snaps* for you guys! i've also managed to come up with a scientifical analogy for this. i'm such a geek, but mrs ferguson (my science teacher) would be proud. i find it's kind of like newton's 3rd law... "for every force there is an equal and opposite force". no matter how much i start going in a downward spiral, my True friends and God are always there, pushing back, and vice versa. whenever a friend starts going down i'm there. kind of a different perspective of that for ya'll to think about...
i'd also like to say sorry, because at times i haven't been bothered with anything and anyone and i don't mean to, it's just my body acting up again. i've been really horrible to a few people and i'm sorry. i truly am.
at the moment, and over the past 5 and a half months, it's really felt as if i have been torn up inside, and torn apart. its really a physical thing and it's horrible. i really feels like i'm going to break into lots of little bit and it really really hurts. sometimes it gets unbearable.
i don't know why... well, actually i do. but i don't want to feel it. so if i don't want to feel it, why do i still feel it? stupid emotions and all that crap.
xo

the weekend

2004-09-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

well this weekend has been very busy. friday night i was out at church and small groups then i went home and did heaps of stuff. saturday involved even more things such as loads of washing and shopping for party things. that afternoon sheri arrived and we left for the hall and started setting up and stuff. it was SO much fun!! omg, 12 years are heaps cool! well, these ones were for the time being anyway. david was really cool, and there is literally a guy who looked like a smaller version of pete! not that i know what he looked like when he was 12, but it seriously did look like a younger version of the "today" version. lol. that sounds kind of mean. how funny. anyway, after that, sheri slept over and so did alice.
sheri and i stayed up talking til around 4.15ish, and then about 4 and a bit hours later we woke up. we got dressed and all that and i had a shower, but then andre rocked up at my place so i ended up not brushing my hair at all today. as you all know, it looked terrible at church! yay!!
but we basically hung round for awhile at my place and actually did mathematical studies class homework which we understood and in that time andre occupied himself with music channels and our sometimes stupid comments. then we dropped them both off at sheri's place cuz i had dance at 2.30 and we had to stop in at mums work to pick up some tribbles. lol. they're balls of fluff that make a really cool squeaking sound. they're gorgeous!
well anyway, i was at church for around 6 hours (2,30 til 8,30. wow! i can do maths!) and dance was heaps fun. can't wait til next saturday to perform it! then we dropped claire home and here i am, giving up on my science homework to finish it in the morning.
i'm tired. i think i'm deprived of sleep. i think i'll say goodnight here. i think i think too much. not really that great. tata all! xo

BON VOYAGE!!

2004-09-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

BON VOYAGE TO KELLY, NIKKI, VANESSA AND FI!!! I LOVE YA'LL AND I'M GOING TO MISS YOU HEAPS!! DON'T FORGET YOUR CHALLENGE!! MWAHAHAHA!!! xo

my dad is now home from queensland and bought numerous items for us and him with only PART of the $6000. even he can't use that much in a week :p
sheri should be around in about and hour or so, and alice is coming over.... i don't know when... and then we're leaving for the hall. FUN!! i had i really nice new coffee blend today, so that should help me keep awake... i think i'll need another one though.
tata all xo

everything today!!

2004-09-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

everything is happening today.
i've got heaps of homework and also housework as well.
my dad gets home from queensland.
4 of my best friends are leaving for overseas (kelly and nikki - italy for 4 weeks, ness and fi - japan for 2 weeks).
my sisters party (oh no! 35 12year olds at a disco!!)
sheri sleeping over (yay!!! muppets at 3 in the morning again!! we love the muppets).
i'm going to be so tired tomorrow.

last night was fun. we almost had all of out small group together at the one time!! just missed it though... oh well. i saw everyone which was cool. i had to go home afterwards to help mum with some things for the party today, which wasn't all that fun though.

well, just a short post for now, so see ya'll later. xo

2004-09-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

how could i forget to mention it?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDRE!!!

today..

2004-09-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

i felt like cinderella last night. i mean, the 'before' stage. i was so busy. between homework and tennis, my mum and sister went to AusGQ (australian girls choir - AusGQ is my abbreiviation. don't ask about the 'q') for 3 hours, so as my grandma and great grandma were coming over today (they're here) i vacuumed the entire house, did a load of washing and took another out, and also cleaned the kitchen and put a load of dishes on and fed the cat. *phew* then i got onto more homework.
hmm. not much happening today. i got up at around 6ish am and had a shower and got dressed and then somehow had heaps more time than i normally do in the mornings. i don't even know how i am busy, but anyway. i ended up re-reading my english notes and a couple of chapters from 'to kill a mockingbird' as we had a test on it today. i thought it was ok... not! i can't even remember what i wrote. i know i included 2 other sources and some random opinion but for 3 pages i basically rambled. i'm good at doing that.
commerce was a bludge, geog was a bludge, first period english was a bludge, mathematical studies class (HA!! i said it!! please take note those who take tabs on whenever i say it!) was fine and science was fine.
it was actually a pretty bludge day.
it involved a lot of migration from many groups, but nonetheless it was ok.
*sigh* so much happening this saturday...i'll be so glad when holidays hit. did i mention that?? well i'll say it again. i can't wait!
one thing i did forget to mention, which i was actually quite happy with. in the multiple choice of our trial school cert paper, i got 39/50. amazement plus! jeez, i couldn't believe it. i actually passed and did ok!
i can't wait til my dad gets home... but then again, i think he's going away again in a couple of weeks for work..
well, i better get back to homework cuz mum just got home so we'll be having dinner in an hour or two and i won't have any time thereafter. so tata everyone xo

I'm holding onto a dream that won't come true....

2004-09-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

i don't mean to be depressive... it's not like i can really help it.
i am a bit better today. if only i could remember what time my tennis lesson starts... that is one thing i can NEVER remember. maybe it's from all the other things i do, there is just no room in my brain for it.
but really, i think i am holding onto a dream that won't come true.. i really hate that feeling, it tears me apart whenever i think about it.
to clarify: i'm ELMO and i'm FINE.
this may be quite random to people who have no idea what i'm talking about but it does make sense.
i still smell like lemon-lime cordial. that was like, 4hrs ago. see, i was trying to get some dirt out of kirsty's eye by washing it with some water, but she wouldn't keep still so it resulted in me throwing water at her from my water bottle. in retaliation, she poured lemon-lime smelling cordial all over me.
hmm anything else been happening?? apart from only 7 days of school left!! thank goodness!! i have heaps to do before then but oh well. still!! nearly holidays!!
i can't wait til this saturday...my dad gets back from queensland and it's my sisters party. should be interesting. but then again, we won't have the new car during the week. we've been using it all this time. hehehe.
*sigh* well i better get back to some stuff i gotta do. i've just remembered i've got to vacuum later... my grandma and greatgrandma are coming over for dinner tomorrow.
tata all xo

frogs legs, snails and heritage

2004-09-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

well, ok. my day was SOOOO bad today. i can't remember how many times i cried. let's just say innumerable. there's too much stuff going on and too many thoughts that are running through my head, and i'm really struggling at the moment.
fencing tonight helped that to become to a just bareable level, and i did really well.
anyway, i've decided to do a 'survey' on who thinks frogs legs and snails are gross (we're talking france here people) and if you would eat them if you were in france.
i personally tried snails in france (i couldn't find frogs legs) and they were really nice!! like, really nice. although that may have been the french wine we were served as well. maybe that could be it...hahaha. spiked french wine.
yesterday was very interesting. i left home at 8.30 and went shopping in the city for a formal dress. i got one. well, mum payed for it and stuff but you know. lucky it was reduced as well cuz it would have been a stupid price for a year 10 formal. anyway. we went to my grandma and great grandmas house after that cuz they live about 15 mins from the city and my sis was there. we ended up pulling out all this old stuff, and found slide show photos and also home made movie reels!! literally, like, they're reels!!! it's SO cool. my sis and i are going over there in the holidays and checking all the stuff out. i can't wait!
i love our family. it's so cool. i mean, my grandad who lives in tumut, was in the war (2nd..??) and he's got all of these swords from it, like they're all engraved and they're really heavy! my cousin (6months older than me) were checking them out once. hehehe.also, cuz my grandad is really big on books, he has all these first edition ones, and also has a handed down book of charles dickens i think, with an authentic signature from him. i think it's of oliver twist...
and my mums side has all these really really cool things, such as those movie reels and slide show photos. literally, you cannot go into their house without finding something from yours, their or mums childhood. literally, their place was the first place called when anyone who didn't know where their kids were looking for them. popularity, and everyone knows them. but helen next door is really cool. she's greek, and she's brought us back things from greece when she's visited and made us all this greek food before. its SO cool.
hmm what else? our family history itself is pretty boring, the only notable thing (that i know of) is nicholas rowe, an ancestor in westminster abbey in london. it's where the monarch is always crowned... more info if you can be bothered to ask.
hmm. well this has turned into a nice little discussion about the good parts of my family (notice i say good, cuz you seriously don't want to know the bad).at least it's a nice change from homework.
yesterday at church was really good. i really needed a refresher with my...erm, what would you call it? my christian-ship...anyway you know what i mean. i've been a christian for awhile, but i just wanted to remind myself fully of that and set things straight again for me, cuz i've been really distracted lately.
well, i better go. i'm really really tired. this whole day has resulted in me doing so many stupid things!! i changed the key of one of my music pieces in my flute lesson today to 'g' from 'e' without even realising it, i was that out of it. i managed it quite successfully, but unfortunately that's not what i was meant to be doing. i also ran into more things and kept trying to put my locker key into my house door, then proceeded to turn it the wrong way and eventually trip into the house. i also kept forgetting the minus sign in maths with the axis od symmetry in a parabola. i am so out of it today, i'm just so tired and upset.
well, yes, i'm really going, so tata xo

travelling....sigh

2004-09-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

ok, i haven't gotten anything done today.. oops. lol. i'm home alone. my mum and sis have gone for a haircut. our hairdresser is in five dock... hahaha. it's like, 40 minutes or something away. it's where i went to infants school. i love going back there. it's so cool.
but they're still not back, and dads obviously not here.
so far i've done some more washing (yup - you guessed it! clothes!!) and had my coffee and listened to music and watched wrestling on tv. i love it. i'm pretty upset rodeo is out of season or whatever.
but i also went through my travelling stuff. like, europe and american diaries, and the other day looked at heaps of photos from bali, america and europe and queensland, and i'm like...*sigh*
does anybody else have that feeling of constantly feeling sick by staying in the one place for too long?? i do. i can't wait til the end of the year to go to the farm even. i just love travelling so much. *sigh*
i can't wait til i next go.
anywho, tata. i'll be getting back to music and preferably reading my book. xo

can't wait...

2004-09-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

i can't wait for school to end for the holidays... *sigh* 2 weeks and 10 days of school left. i'm so pathetic. i'm actually counting down.
my dad left for queensland this morning. i didn't actually see him go cuz mum dropped him off at the airport early. he's gone for a week long golf trip with 3 or 4 other friends to guess what?? play golf everyday! he gets back next saturday - the day of my sister's party. and i'm guessing we'll get home from that at around 10.30 cuz the hall is hired from like... 6-10 or something.. not sure.
oh, but we got new taps last week, and i'm not used to them so most of the time i turn them on water goes everywhere. take this morning. i am still not awake properly. i think i need coffee. but i've managed to get water everywhere a couple of times and also run into numerous objects. i've run into the same door 5 times. i'm so unco (and uncoordinated..hahaha). one good thing is that my thumb is starting to heal... i managed to staple it sometime last week. that bit wasn't sore - the bit where i had to pull the staple out with tweezers hurt the most.
since my dad's away for the week, maybe mum and i could buy a new stove.. whenever dad goes away (he goes away at least twice a year for business stuff) we do something or buy something for the house. this includes: my desk, my shelves, nat's shelves and toybox, painting my parents bedroom, a new side table, outdoor table set with chairs and also random other bits and pieces such as numerous cds and clothes for us.
oh, guess what i did yesterday? i held $6000 in cash. it was pretty exciting, which is very sad but it was really random. my dad brought it home to take some of it to queensland. maybe he's planning on buying a new set of golf clubs. which means we'd have 5 sets around. we've got one set under the house, mums, mine, his and then another set... oh well. he loves golf so you know. he's been doing it since he was my age. quite scary!! lol.
anyway, i can't wait til tomorrow. i'm going into town to (*ugh, groan*) look for formal dresses. i'm so not into the whole thing but mum's insisting. a last resort for her is her paying for everything to get me to go. but after that is dance and church. it really seems like i haven't been for ages for some reason. and 'aimee' is on which should be interesting.
anyway i just feel like i really need it.
i'll say goodbye here.. i better get onto some stuff for school. tata xo

something

2004-09-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

hmm...well. it was a VERRYYY big bludge today. we had our ballet music presentation thing to do which we did and that went pretty well. then science we started a new topic and basically brainstormed ideas, then maths which was the easiest thing in the world on parabolas and had a substitute teacher and then sport - volleyball which was quite amusing. tennis after school which was fun. peta's daughter's hair...?? well...she has a massive haircut, but she also managed to get hold of the scissors again and cut out photos to stick on cards and stuff to give to her dad for fathers day...so now the scissors are banned from her :p
all my lines worked out for next year as well, which i'm quite pleased with. my parents actually approve of what i'm doing as well. that's definately a plus. i'm doing *clear throat hm hm...*
*advanced english and prelim ext 1
*mathematics (aka "2unit" even though general is 2 as well)
*legal studies
*society and culture
*business studies
*economics
hm... jane and leah were so mean to me. they were like...oh you geek. choose all the geeky subjects, and i'm like they're not really geeky subjects. i mean, when you think about it. jane and leah are some of mum's work friends, but i know them to. all the paramount pictures people are really nice. i love JJ and Nanako though. they rock.
hey, we got new taps yesterday as well. i used them this morning and they're really touchy. it's great.
the new car rocks as well. when you turn it on, on one of it's screens it goes "checking systems".... "ok!" it talks to you :p
i remember with one of the cars we had in queensland this year, it beeped everytime you went near something and beeped when you took your seatbelt off before the car had stopped. it was so funny. i wonder what japanese cars would be like. ness - you're gonna have to find that one out for me *wink wink* i already know what italian cars are like - soz nikki and kelly.
well before i go on and ramble about nothing even more, i'll say tata. xo

*

new car and other stuff

2004-09-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

well i could not wait til this afternoon! i was actually looking forward to hanging out with some of our small group for awhile, but that didn't end up happening cuz of some timetable clashes. damn it.
another reason is because trial school cert tests are over (lets do a mexican wave shall we? just to celebrate!!), i have my singing lesson AND we're getting a new car. yup. we traded in the ute for another ute, and now we're also getting a new car.
it's a luxury one as well. it's so stupid, cuz then we're going to have 2 really expensive-ish cars and i don't have anything to crash when i'm learning. maybe i'll borrow one of my dads and chris's company utes. OR better yet i could learn in a truck and be a "trucker". lol. i'll have to get one of those hats then.
i can't wait to go down to the farm this christmas and drive in the paddocks!! i'll just be sure to get the sheep into the next one or something, otherwise i can practice hit-and-run stunts with sheep.
i honestly can't believe my dad sometimes. like, he only decided on thursday or something that he wanted a new car, then he traded in the other one, and then proceeded to get another car. one of my uncle's is like that as well. he gets a new car every 6 months or so. i love going in them, cuz he goes fast cuz they live ages away in junee, so there aren't many people.
oh dear... the 18th... vanessa going ot japan, nikki and kelly going to italy!! AND a party that sheri is helping me survive. thats going ot be fun... not. it's my sisters and we've hired a hall and a dj and stuff, and she's invited like, 30-40 people... oh dear is all i can say. i'm glad these kids don't drink coffee and sheri and i have the advantage of coffee and our normal hyperavtiveness to compete with all of them.
how funny was school today... well, the break between exams anyway. nikki and shez know what i mean mostly...lol.
ok, nikki!! *bedsheets!!* i am a zulu.... hehehehe
i really enjoyed dance on sunday arvo... i was so tired by the end of it though. too much other stuff i did on the weekend.
it was really sad actually, cuz it was fathers day, and all i basically did was give dad his card, saw what his presents were (seude or leather jacket... can't remember, shirt and this golf pack thing. he's also going to queensland next week i think to play golf, but he already knew that) and then fell back into my bed. i was so tired. maybe it's because i went to bed at 9.30pm. that is like, 4 hours earlier than i normally go to bed at, so i don't think my body adapted that well. lol.
another thing. i really can't wait til next april. apart from my birthday and being 16 (like, finally :p)
*sigh* i feel like talking but i gotta go soon.. and my record with using the phone for short amounts of time isn't really all that great.... dad keeps threatening to make me pay for 75% of the phone bill cuz i apparently use it the most. just like the 'clothes issue'.
hmm...what else has happened..?? not much else. my life is so boring. i did find my old music boxes though, and because they still work and they have pictures of ballet dancers on them i'm going to take them to school tomorrow for our music assignment presentation on ballet.. oh joy!!!
anyway, better go. tata xo
*orbing out with hand squiggle movements*(ha!! i said it sheri!)

v. tired

2004-09-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

sooo tired right now. i finished science, thank goodness. i had a few things to do for it, including a report thingy on auroras and GPS.
today was so stressful though. i can't remember anything for tests. i can remember stupid, non-relevant stuff that's heaps random, but never actual facts and info you need. *sigh*
i really want to see nikki's chickens. nikki, if you're reading this, i want to see your chickens.
the 18th of september is going to be such a big day... ness goes to japan, nikki and kelly go to italy, and it's my sister's bday party which shez is helping me survive with. we've hired a hall and dj and stuff, and her whole class is going - 35 kids. lotsa food. lotsa mess. lotsa me playing hostess while nat's off having fun. hahaha. sucked in sheri cuz you have to help me.
hmm..what else?? i have so much to do over the weekend. i wish i was going on camp instead. it'd be so much more fun and so much less stressful!! *sigh* (again..)
i think i'm home alone with nat at the moment... she isn't loud or anything so it's fine. i think dad's still at work, and mum's either at work or shopping. they're both workoholics, seriously. i wish i had as much energy to keep going as they do when it comes to work. most of the time i can't be bothered. oh well. i get it done.
i think im going to fall asleep on the keyboard... no wait. that'll have to be after hw :p at least noone's home to tell me i should go to bed, cuz that's just annoying. anyway, *orbing out* (lol people who get it) xo

12 words...

2004-09-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

there's 12 words i really want to say to someone, but i really cannot bring myself to say them at all. it's so horrible and it's eating away at me and is really annoying.
another annoying thing is that i had to download my science pictures from my digital camera to the computer. i took a photo for kelly as well, even though i don't know if she needs it anymore. i did it just incase. i couldn't work it out at first, but then got the hang of it. and i also did a rockin' graph as well! neat.
i think the only good thing that happened today was going to see the lion king, and getting my backhands right in tennis today.
omg, peta's (she's my sisters and my coach) daughter (who's 6) cut her hair by herself!! she's got big chunks of it cut out everywhere!!
i was so stressed today as well. i had a lot to do, but i actually managed it ok. i'm still not done, but i'm a lot less stressed than i was. i was so close to tears it wasn't funny. but as i said, a lot of it's done so i'm a bit better... well until i get around to doing everything else. then it's back up again.
well, again, i better get back to it. for the rest of the night and possibly morning, it's science science science.
tata xo

sigh

2004-08-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

*sigh* well, i'm up to date with my english book! that's one thing i at least achieved tonight. that and i'm nearly done with the whole of our music assignment. i got the job of putting our joint info on cardboard. well, i volunteered and stuff.. i know i'm a geek. once i get science, english (a project/assessment task thing on sources related to prejudice) and on top of my maths hw, i'll be ok i think... i hope.. after trials are finished, i think i'll be a lot better. argh! they're next monday and tuesday! i think i'm just saying what i need to do on my blog so i can actually remember... cuz as soon as i write stuff down i can remember it better. most of the time anyway. maths is definately an exception.
and right now? blogging, music and listening to lostprophets. love 'em!!
i want to go to sleep soon.. like, early as opposed to my normal bed time of 11.30 to about 12.30. i have issues sleeping.
well, better get back to it! xo

not much really...

2004-08-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

not much has been happening lately.. well, that's a lie. some stuff (mostly the boring stuff) i'll say others i can't.
saturday, massage, and 4 loads of washing and other various chores done by yours truly, as well as homework. all day doing that... quite a productive work day...fun...
yesterday, sunday was heaps fun. i went shopping with nikki and kelly. may i add here:
~people in arsenal are arsonists and have cousins in uraguay and paraguay who drive bus-like subarus and eat beans~
thankyou.
but yes, i spent $145... hehehe.. nice... then i had to get a pumpkin with mum then went straight home, changed and went to dance, ernie and church. so i was out most of the day. it was heaps fun.
um..what else? interesting couple of chats i had over msn on the weekend with a couple of people as well... no rest for the wicked as they always say... well, my grandma does anyway.
today went on and on and on... it even included watching ballet, and annoyingly enough my flute lesson. i love it, but i really get frustrated because it takes heaps of my time. can't wait til next term...*sigh*
anyway, now i better get back to homework again, tata! xo

my day

2004-08-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

hmm.. my day was actually such a bludge it wasn't funny. actually, it was cuz bludges are always good and you generally don't get all that much homework, which leaves you time to catch up on the other stuff you haven't done.
well, music..hahaha. our music class is always a bludge. we had mrs green as a substitute. i love mrs green. she's so cool. next was careers, then maths (i learnt how to put phone numbers into my calculator and arranged to get some guy's pants to decorate. sadly i am being serious), then soccer in PE. kirsty's and my conversation kept being interrupted when we had to get the ball. then social dance in pd... funny!! i am so unco and uncoordinated. last period.. drama. hehehe. ash benator and i ended up leaving fixing up chairs and skipping approximately 30mins of the lesson walking around the school, which also involved crashing mr zuaine's year 11 maths class. so we talked to him for a while then continued our walk, then ended up getting caught by our teacher so we spent the last 10 minutes talking. fun!
i went home from there, as i had to "go home and study instead of going out" (parentals quote), but then ended up going to golf with my dad. i would have been annoyed at the fact that i wasn't with friends and stuff, but i've missed golf so much, so sorry guys! i haven't been for ages, and i actually did reasonably well (which is really good for me!), and even got 5 on a par 3 (if you have no idea what i'm talking about, ask me if you can be bothered) and managed to talk my dad's head off and make him listen to my music (at that present time i was listening to evanescence) and he actually said it wasn't bad! now that's an accomplishment.
now i'm home, i watched mean girls, which mum just brought home (it's by paramount pictures) and i'm onto homework and playing home run. it's this really fun computer game that my mum's work friend (JJ - he's a bastard. he's going back to italy for 5 weeks and not taking me!) sent me.. you have to try and keep this drunk guy upwards for as long as possible. it's very amusing, and i've recently found i've had quite a warped sense of humour. YAY!! 33 METERS!!
ok, well... i think i will be going now as to prevent any more embarrassment on my behalf. tata! xo

so run-down

2004-08-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

i feel so tired and run-down at the moment. i had the day off school, and went to sleep most of the day. then i got up, looked at photos and re-read my holiday diary from last year (i went around europe for 5 weeks) then picked a movie and watched it. it's very sad, i never really watch tv or movies anymore. i just don't seem to have the time. oh well, i don't really mind. i saw a quote today from one of our calenders, and it said:
television has proved that people would rather look at anything rather than each other - ann landers
i think thats pretty right in a few aspects, apart from the entertainment side of things. but i also think that that applies to msn in a way. like, we'd rather talk to people on msn rather than call them or meet up with them. that's what i find so horrible. i guess at least it's talking, but you know.
i'm also glad that there's music... without music i don't know what life would be like. even more crap than it already is i guess, and that's saying something.
mufti day tomorrow. *sigh* that means i'll have to put more clothes in the wash. mum always has a problem with how many clothes i go through during the week. apparently my mum, dad and sis put together have about the same amount of clothes as i do. i didn't even realise i wore that many, but then i was trying to prove to mum that i didn't, and i went through the list of things i did during the week, and stopped myself as i realised i did do a lot... oops. but i do the washing anyway...that is put the clothes on the line and take them off again.. i'll just stop arguing with myself now.. :p
*sigh again* i don't have the house to myself anymore. my grandma, sis and alice are here. at least my room is clean. haha. although, getting rid of 8 bags of crap would probably help that. now all i have to really do it finish my shelves, and me and my sis clean the shed.. it's got a LOT of stuff in it. for those who know what my room was previously like, it's worse than that. about 10 times worse. for those who didn't know what my room was like... you're better for it!
oh, speaking of more cleaning, we need to clean our videos out again.. like the ones on the bookshelf. we get too many!! well i guess it comes with mums job, but still! lol
currently i'm playing bowman (http://www.xeron.org/cosas/bowman/bowmanf.html - very fun!) and i just got one in the appointed lindsay's head (whos' with me?!), and it reminded me of an animal planet documentary my sis was watching the other night, and there was a duck that was walking around with an arrow in it's head... how horrible is that?! don't worry though - the duck was ok.
well... even though i missed today's homework for now, i've still got a lot of other stuff to do, so better say goodbye here. tata xo

just quickly

2004-08-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

i don't really have a lot of time... i'm SO busy. it's great huh? i can't wait til next term, as i'm stopping flute lessons so i can have a bit of extra time on monday arvos. some people have said i shouldn't and stuff, but i have my reasons.
anyway, not much happened today... i took my soccer ball to school for a science experiment, but then left it there so i could finish it tomorrow, but i really feel like playing soccer now. i guess tennis this arvo will have to do. how sad.
sport (i'm doing landscaping) was such a bludge. we basically sunbaked all through it. i don't think the teacher likes me very much. a lot of teachers don't think very highly of me... oops. mabad.
oh well, i better go and get onto this homework! tata xo

completely evil

2004-08-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

ooo....vivienne (my fencing coach) is completely evil! she made us do counter quarte parries and counter sixte parries, and one goes clockwise the other anti-clockwise, then we did disengagements with parries... we were about to cry!!!
i think i've got some bruises on my rib cage as well, from jabs from the just-out-of-the-beginners-class people (we're the advanced class).... it seems so long ago that i started and was a just-out-of-the-beginners-class person myself. hehehe.
anyway, just thought i'd share that. tata xo

worn out and asphyxiation

2004-08-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

oh i am so worn out and tired and i feel like going to sleep! i had my flute lesson which went overtime and my arms are really sore for some reason. right now i'm bludging and trying to keep myself awake by blogging before i go to fencing. *sigh*
i've also realised how i'm going to die. asphyxiation. kind of depressing but that's the way it is.
anyway, i actually better make an attempt at actually getting ready and also finding my fencing jacket, mask, glove and foil. i seem to have misplaced them...oops!
even after i clean my room and get rid of 8 bags of crap i still lose stuff. i have no idea how i do it, though i seem to have a knack for it. i can find stuff better in mess. lol
well, really going now. toodeloo and tata! xo

The last couple of days

2004-08-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were SO much fun!!! I'm suffering from serious lack of sleep though :p.
Basically, Wednesday i was up early cuz i had band, and that night i was out late cuz i was at the Maebashi farewell party, which was SO SO SO much fun! oh, it was so sad to say goodbye! I got home after that and had to pack (oops - almost forgot!) and was up late doing that...
The next morning i woke up at 4.30am to be at the school at 5.30am. That was fun. I was pretty awake surprisingly. I kept being told to shut up.
It was so full on the all the time, and as a result of lack of sleep during the first day, i ended up falling asleep through a lecture/interview thingy with an astronaut and deep sea diver. oops again - mabad.
That night, Nikki, Sheri and I stayed up til like, early, and we also managed to lock ourselves out of our room. At least we didn't actually lose the door this time... hehehe. Luckily we also caught the guy and got a spare key before he went to the pub.
We got a few hours sleep then got woken up at 6.30am by Sheri's alarm. We did all the normal stuff - pack, breakfast etc then got on the bus and went to that days activities.
The whole camp was heaps of fun and very interesting actually. Both scientifical and otherwise.
Also, did you know that chalk is made up of about 80% of dead organisms (dead bugs). How disgraceful is that?!! lol. let the dead bugs rest in peace!
Well anyway, that was my last few days.
Oh, and i think it is absolutely definate now - CANBERRA IS A HOLE!! lol.
Over and out! xo

tired!!

2004-08-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

oh i am so tired. i stayed up really late...or really early, either way you'd like to put it, cleaning my room. like, i went to bed really early (10.30 - that is Really early for me) but then i realised i had SO much energy so i started cleaning. i threw quite a bit out as well.
i SO cannot wait til thurs/fri. CANBERRA EXCURSION!!! yes!! it was SO much fun last year and we have the same bus driver who is So cool! i have a lot of memories from canberra last year... well, sheri and i do at least..hahaha. no more said on that topic.. mwahahaha.
well, what did i do today? not much!!! again! i did homework (which includes the super easy maths hw) and i also went to singing. my lesson ended up going for an hour rather than only half. oh well. i'm not complaining.
i really am So tired and i'm really grouchy (so don't mess wid me!) so i'll stop writing now before i fall asleep on the keyboard. xo

fun!

2004-08-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

i love getting caught in the rain. LOVE it. Nikki and i were waiting outside for our parentals after school, and it was raining.. we got pretty wet actually, and ended up with sex hair... hahaha. lucky i don't have my flute lesson today :p but i do have fencing, so thats good. its like therapy.
but also, i am so gonna cry! i was doing maths homework last night with dad, and i am SO gonna fail maths! i'm so dumb, i'm probably going to fail everything! ah, sometimes theres no point. hm....
oh!! i had the weirdest dream last night! maybe it continues on from what happened on sunday, but i won't go into that. but i now know where "i'll meet my soulmate" and that i'll have a boy called daniel or something... and apparently i have a high IQ! (i don't think this is very true at all. i quote *whats vertical*...that could go on..full list? ask anyone) anyway, back to the dream. actually, i can't be bothered typing it, so just ask me if you don't already know and want to know :p
guess what else i did yesterday?? well, you see... me and my sister have a slightly unclean record of disasters in the kitchen and cooking... we've set fire to things numerous times, exploded things in the microwave and erm, *experimented* recipes (ie made our own "up and go" *formula*) and also decided to waste whole packets of icing sugar and flour and skittles by throwing them everywhere... but this time we had a cookie dough thing already made, and all we had to do was cut it and put it in the oven... well... we did that alright, but then the baking paper caught alight and burnt some of the cookies.... *sigh* oh well.. maybe next time.
dance yesterday was fun. my socks are filthy! yay! so was cafe church, and i got to see people i haven't seen for awhile, which is always good!
hey, one last thing before i go - if you're sick i have the perfect remedy to boost your immune system. if i were you, i wouldn't ask though. this is me looking up my science homework stuff... anyway, tata! xo

sadness!!

2004-08-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

hm... i'm at home when world cafe is on at the moment! how sad! i was actually planning on going, but since i babysat ALL day today (as in i had to be up early :( lol) she wouldn't let me go cuz she thought i'd be too tired... shows how much she knows. anyway, slight issue there, but oh well...
hmm. what else has happened? not much! how boring! just homework and the normal stuff...
but also very excited because of the olympics and i get to watch fencing! yay! but its on at like, 3ish on monday and tuesday morning, but i dont really care...i'm gonna watch it anyway! lol.
hmm...whats another sport i like? rodeo isn't an olympic sport (thanks though to espn! )... darn. what about kickboxing or wrestling? are they? i dont know... i dont know that much! :P i love all those kinda sports... oh, and rugby for the tackling...
oh!! i know whats happening! this thursday/friday i'm going on a science camp to canberra! it is actually SO much fun, no matter how much of a hole canberra is! lol. Sheri and i can't wait to go, it was so much fun! we went with the year 10s....
well, better be off and finish the homework i'm supposed to be doing instead of being at world cafe...*tear*
tata xo

hippies and dresses...

2004-08-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

well i bludged the rest of commerce, the english test was easy-as, and science and maths were...science and maths.. i helped with the junior flute ens as well playing piano... i suck at piano.. hahaha
oh, i'm listening to our phone ring and anyone that has heard my phone ring knows it is extremely weird. i'm still not entirely used to it. and we chose the more-normal of the 5 ring tones. weird phone... it looks like a mobile actually, but its not.
oh, but today was SO funny with our history presentation. we had clothes to dress up in, old music... funky!! our group was doing women (haha Sheri - we got a good topic! :p) so we did all these plays and stuff and even got the guys to wear dresses...oh i WISH i had taken a camera! it was SO funny! we were "shaggadelic" hippies as well. *peace out my brothers and sisters*....*word* - hahaha.

hehehe...

2004-08-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

hehehe. hello people! in school at the moment...commerce. We're doing non-interesting currency conversions...say hello Kelly..."hello". there we go.
well.. what else today? we have a english listening test, and also a history presentation. thats gonna be SOOO funny. we've got clothes to dress up as hippies in, and 60s music. lol.
anway, apart from that, not much really!! how sad.
oh well. did you know that 1 AUD = 79.0324 JPY
well, if you didn't, now you do! lol
i'm going to go now, so tata. xo

yay!

2004-08-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

yay! just letting you all know i've finished my history work which is due tomorrow... well, more like, i've finished the work that IS due tomorrow. not the rest of it that i don't know when it's due... oh well. it can wait til next lesson. the sheets are bright and colourful too. highlighter pink, yellow, green and orange. lol. very cool. we have so much coloured paper... we've run out of white stuff, so i'm going to have to end up handing everything in on the highlighter stuff. how amusing.
well yes, early morning tomorrow, and it's a leetle bit late at them moment, so i better get to bed....
night! xo

ridiculous

2004-08-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

this is getting ridiculous! i'm writing almost everyday. i don't know how i actually find the time. i guess i find blogging really fun! lol.
anyway. what happened today? well, i missed band as i *cough cough* slept in, didn't do much work at all at school, didn't do sport cuz i helped set up the tas display thing for tonight, then went to forestway after school, and tennis afterwards. not really that interesting. i did run into Taylor though. i haven't seen him for ages so that was really cool. and i msged Catherine as well, and we haven't spoken for awhile! they're both people i know from my drama school...i quit at the end of last year, and so did they.
hmm what else? my life is pretty boring at the moment. it's either homework, or my normal after-school stuff. with dancing or singing randomly thrown in between. gotta do that!
well, i better get back to my homework...*sigh*

I remembered!

2004-08-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

I remembered to write today! Not that it would have really mattered, but you know! ;)
Tuesday today... not much interesting happening. I've got my singing lesson later tonight, and not AS much homework as i did before, but i've still got a bit. I'll be glad when it comes time for next year, cuz i'll at least have some interest in the subjects i'm choosing and doing! :p
what else has happened today? NOT MUCH! oh how boring!
did you know that althaiophobia is a fear of marshmallows? how strange.
oh, and guess what? as of last night, i love fred. we really have something special. he's the hobo that lives under our house :p long story to that, but i found him last night when i was in the garden and went looking for shovels at 9 oclock in the night. it's actually really fun! quite dark though. dark is good.
right at this moment, 3 cds are playing in the house for my science project, and i can hear them in the background, and they'r driving me insane! only... a long time til i can stop doing that!
well i better get back to work, bye! xo

again, not working!

2004-08-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

i really should be working, but i've lost all my energy. too much brain power being used when it doesn't want to be. that ends up happening a lot really...lol
but i finally went back to fencing tonight! i'm like, finally! it's been about 4 weeks, and it was so good to get back to it. did you know that fencers are like, THE nicest people on the planet? seriously! a perfect example was when i was at a comp, i met and talked to so many people...but i think that's because we can stab people... you never know. i SO cannot wait til the olympics are on to watch it. i've been looking at pictures, and they're the weirdest positions and attacks... anyway. i so want to do the swords club thing within my and another fencing club, but thats tuesday nights, and i have singing then... well, the swords club is about 8-9.30ish... maybe i could do it.. hmm...
well, enough about fencing! :P
what else has been happening? flute lesson today, and that was just normal...not much happening really. my life is pretty boring!
i really want to get back to golf soon as well. maybe i'll run into *cough* someone i know. hahaha. i think Kelly is the only one who's actually seen him... that was in big w... hahaha. oh! maybe Kate knows - lol.
OMG! but guess what? i'm going to canberra next thursday/friday on a science camp. hehe. i know - i'm such a geek
oh! i know what i forgot to say! i'm a buddy to a maebashi student. she's really cool. i'd be so dodgy in japan though. can anyone imagine me? the only things i learnt to say in 4 years of japanese classes was how to count to 10 and how to say hello. lately, i've learnt morkarimason(i dont know how to spell in japanese - sorry people!) means i dont understand. hehehe.
hmm. this is getting long and possibly boring, so i'll say goodnight. and no, i'm not to sure what that is in japanese..

not working!

2004-08-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

ok, i'm supposed to be concentrating and doing homework, but it isn't working at all! i think i've got too much on my mind at the moment. so maybe i'll go to bed and read... i don't know. i'm nearly finished 'to kill a mockingbird' and i want to get onto the audrey hepburn biography sheri lent to me. i love audrey hepburn!!
hehehe... guess wat? i was working out subjects for next year (year 11) with my mum and dad before, and i've finally worked it all out pretty much, so i'm happy about that. dad wants me to be a lawyer... pretty funny actually. if i became a barrister, then i could get those wigs they wear, and accidently-on-purpose put it in the wash and turn it pink! now that would be fun!
hmm. yes. so what else has been happening? oh, guess what?? my tennis lesson got moved to wednesdays! so i'm busy like, everyday apart from thursdays and saturdays, which i'm kept occupied by homework anyway. how fun. oh well. busy is good. i like busy cuz it's a distraction to some of the stuff that goes on in life.
anyway, really gonna go now, so bye!
ash xo

Non-eventful weekend

2004-08-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well i had a pretty non-eventful weekend... Saturday i had a chiropractors appointment, then straight after i had to go formal dress shopping. I hate it. Anyway, afterwards i was babysitting at 1ish, and that went for about 5 hrs and was fun. The thing that drove me up the wall was the "happy land adventure" game. It seriously corrupts your mind..lol. Nah, it's cool as.
Then today, Sunday. Basically non-eventful again, with homework, then dance, ernie and church. Which brings me up to the present time, and i've got to get back to my homework. So have fun people!
ash xo
oh by the way - i worked out that it's now a bit less than a month til our trial school certificate!! argh!! scary!!!

Another day...

2004-08-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

Another day gone by... i don't know what i'm counting down to. I guess i'm just getting through each day as it comes... Maybe i'm counting down to the holidays... very sad i know, but i wish it was the holidays again.
Well, i finished my english essay last night! I got something like 1200 words but i actually have NO idea what i wrote anymore. I also did history and a bit of my drama assessment... That's due tomorrow so i'll finish it tonight.
OH! we FINALLY disected our sheeps brains in science. Our science teacher was away all last week so we had to wait! Grr. Oh well. It was fun. I remember at our year 7 open day thingy, we disected a fish. That was so fun! The fish actually turned out being pregnant as well, so we saw all the... oh what are they? larvae or eggs or whatever. I hope you're not reading this while you're eating :P
lol. something more normal now... well. normal-ish. In commerce, Nikki, Kelly and I were doing our "eco warriors" (don't ask!) dance and we eventually stopped after we realised the whole class was watching us.. I think they're pretty used to us though. lol.
well, that's my 2 cents for today, i don't have much else to write unless you like to read ramble.. i'm SO good at that!
bye
xo

argh!

2004-08-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

oh the stupid thing! i keep forgetting to change the time on it!
lol. just ignore me...
really going now! :P
xo

Well then...

2004-08-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

Well then... life has been pretty busy...
It's been quite depressing really, i haven't written for awhile. Quick update - Friday night i went to a Christmas in July dinner which was SO fun! Saturday i went out with my small group to pancakes on the rocks and the rocks markets - also fun!
Sunday i went to dance and left through ernie cuz i was sick.. monday i had the day off school and wasn't allowed to go to my flute lesson or tennis or fenicng lesson... :( i haven't been to fencing for like, 3 weeks now! very very sad!!
Yesterday night i had my singing lesson and straight after i had to go back to the school for the year 11 subject evening for year 10s... it was good, but i'm so confused with what i want to do now. oh well. i'll just see how the lines work out :P
Yes... which brings us to today.. not much happening really. I didn't do landscaping cuz Ash, Nikki and Bec weren't there, so i'm like stuff it, and went to textiles with Nikki and did some work for miss stevens... well "work" more like it. most of the time was Nikki and i going through the textile rooms looking for glue.
yeah. pretty boring day really.
but now, i have heaps of homework! like, mostly due tomorrow, so i gotta go. see ya!
xo

Hm...

2004-07-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

*sigh* Life sucks sometimes. I'm too tired to actually try and hide it in this, so yes. Life does suck. Why do things always seem to happen altogether??
Anyway. I'll just move on so this doesn't get even more boring! lol.... anyway. Not much happened today.. it was year 11 taster day... which is basically like a day for year 10 students to try some year 11 subjects for a whole day. It was quite fun actually.. biology especially!! Our octopus was weird though... At least we didn't get homework for all of today as well.
Hmm.. Nikki and Sheri came over after school, we did a bit of dance stuff and talked, then dropped Nikki off at work, and after i started a flute lesson with Sheri.. that was interesting! lol
Hmm.. i can't wait til tomorrow! Cuz it's friday and after school it's the weekend! And tomorrow night should be fun.. more bout that later :P
But yes. I think i'd better go, as I feel like i'm gonna pass out pretty soon cuz i'm not feeling all that good...Oh well. hopefully i'll get ovet it soon.
Tata
ash

Very Cool!

2004-07-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

Ok... i just felt the "need" to write... but yes.
I'm talking to Justine on msn, whos gone back to france!! i miss you Justine!! but she sent me a song in french, with the words and i'm trying to sing along to it... it's not working all that well! lol. i don't actually know what the words are saying but it sounds good!
yes... well it's getting a little late and I have to make a phone call (i tend to make phone calls or get phone calls very late...or very early. either way).
bye!!!!

First time for everything!

2004-07-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well, hello to everyone!
I finally decided to have some willpower and start a blog! hehe..
Anyways, not much happening this week... actually. A lot has and is happening... Lets catch up on whats been happening, shall we??... Monday i had my flute lesson and stuff, but instead of tennis and fencing as I normally have monday nights, i was babysitting. That was fun. I love the kids!! Tuesday, my grandparents left (they came last Thursday) so that was very nice for me! Aren't I mean? hehehe...
Today was quite sad cuz i didnt have my singing lesson as its moving to Tuesdays so I had a lot more time for homework.. I've got so much of it at the moment!
Anyway... yes. Tomorrow Nikki and Sheri are coming over... i think. I know Shez is and i'm teaching her flute, and then we're doing some dance stuff with Nikki.... i have no idea. I'm not a very organised person, so yeah. We'll see what happens!
Oh! also tomorrow should be alright... cuz the year 10s at Davo have the taster day for year 11 subjects... so that means no homework. Break! yes!!
Hmm.. well better get back to homework.
Toodles
Ash

well well well

2004-07-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

well well well... i wasn't actually going to post today, but i've gotten a lot done today, so i feel like i've earnt it..hehehe.
so what have i done, you ask? well, i've had a massage, done 3 loads of washing and taken another off, cleaned out more of my room, taken the garbage out, done some music and science homework and printed out all 44 pages of last years maths component of the school cert. i've got to do more maths later though as well as vacuum and find some more pictures for music. our topic is ballet...fun! but tomorrow, i'm going shopping, then dance then church so i need to get everything done today. oh well... i guess my busy schedule helps prepare me for "when i'm all grown up" (not trying to sound wise or anything crap like that).
oh, did i ever tell you about our lines for next year? all of mine worked out thank goodness, and i hope they stay that way!! i feel sorry for all the people's that got all mixed up and stuff... although i'm still happy mine worked out! so you may want to know what i'm doing... if not then stop reading right about.....now!
i'm doing advanced english and ext, (3 units of english all up), mathematics (not general, just to clarify), legal studies, society and culture, business studies and economics. so all up 13 units...
i'm going to go now... i think i may do some vacuuming. i am such a geek... i know. tata xo

A Piece of my Mind

SEMI IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!

woohoo..

not that long

woah...weird

oh gosh

update

procrastination

stupid 'hollywood'

haunted

distracted.

drugs

mentality.

insomnia

countdown

let down

yucky

just a few points of interest

whats up?

i feel sick...

stuff

cromer

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

everything

formal

hairdressers

oops...

sunburn....

Halloween

teeth and HSC

life...

just quickly

"anything is possible with chocolate chip cookies"

all i can do is try

in commerce...

mummy's work

just things

is there really a point?

the weekend

BON VOYAGE!!

everything today!!

today..

I'm holding onto a dream that won't come true....

frogs legs, snails and heritage

travelling....*sigh*

can't wait...

something

new car and other stuff

v. tired

12 words...

*sigh*

not much really...

my day

so run-down

just quickly

completely evil

worn out and asphyxiation

The last couple of days

tired!!

fun!

*sadness!!*

hippies and dresses...

hehehe...

yay!

ridiculous

I remembered!

again, not working!

not working!

Non-eventful weekend

Another day...

argh!

Well then...

Hm...

Very Cool!

First time for everything!

well well well

travelling....sigh

sigh

sadness!!